Where we are getting married

So last Saturday Aviva and I got up bright and early (for a Saturday), ate some breakfast and headed north to check out some places we thought we might want to hold the wedding. One of my first comments to Aviva when she said that we should do this was, "Are you serious? The wedding is like 16 months away!" ... let me just say now that the amount of things I do not understand about weddings fills up more than a breadbox.

So we started looking. But because I want to keep this post relatively brief, I will not go into the details of the search, but you should all know that we spent a number of evenings pouring over bridal magazines and through The Knot and Wedding Locations and New York Weddings and god knows how many other sites. Thankfully (or not, depending on our mood at the time), we had a number of specific parameters that we wanted to meet, which helped us narrow the list quite a bit.

First off, you would be surprised at how many places in New York say that they can do Kosher weddings ... I mean I know that all the Jews in the world live here, but still, literally everywhere can do Kosher catering (now this does not actually mean that the places have Kosher kitchens, it means that you can pay A LOT extra to have a kosher caterer come in from outside and make up a good meal).

Nope, the big factor for winnowing down the locations was my strong, strong desire to have it at a location that was not a "wedding factory", and felt like it was outside the city and "among the trees." Yes, I now realize those are very vague desires, something which Aviva realized before I did (this realization subsequently drove her nuts for a while as she tried to figure out what I meant). So then we found big places, for 400+, which effectively eliminated all the castles that I was looking at (Oheka, the only castle left that holds that many guests, was so expensive that only the Rockefellers could actually get married there).

Then came the actual looking, which, fortunately enough, only took up two Saturdays and half a Sunday .... the first Saturday we looked only at places we didn't like. After an unpleasant day, we decided to go look at a place we really liked but was too small. We loved it, of course. But we decided to check out more places before modifying our wedding plans to suit the location.


But the next weekend, after looking at our favorite place again, along with a number of other places that we liked better ... we decided to go with our guts. So, next spring, we are going to be gettin' hitched at the Tarrytown House.

Registry

It begins. We have only been engaged for about 3 weeks, but already weddingness is dominating our lives.

The first thing I learned is that things are done a bit differently here on the East Coast. First, engagement parties and presents are a reality here .. this is not something I have been familiar with in the past but is apparently a big thing here. Going over to my aunts for dinner the day after we got engaged, we learned that people are going to start buying us stuff almost immediately, so registering and finding a site for the ceremony are taking first priority (we are working on that this weekend so there will be an update ...)

The registering, you'd think it would be fun to pick lots of things that people might get you as presents, but it is not as enjoyable as you might think. First, there is the whole getting over the idea that people are actually going to buy you stuff ... then there is the walking around with the gun. You know, the little scanner gun that you always see crazy people using in big department stores.

Those guns, they don't really work well. At least not at Macys. And I got tell you, it is a slow and frustrating process when every second or third scan does not work and you have to keep using a tiny keyboard that does not actually input the things that you want it too (Having said that, the gun at Crate and Barrel was much better).

And finally, there is the endless discussion that neither of you really care about, as to which antique frosted cutlery goes well with the white dragonfly china vs. the newish looking mikasa china. Or whether the aegean hand towels go better with smoke or chamois towels.

And finally, after a long day of shopping without buying anything, receiving bizarre gifts like Victorinox shopping bags (quite useful) and crystal heart-shaped bowls (not so much). And then, suddenly, thanks to the miracle of the Weddingchannel.com, you have our registry ... which we will then spend hours and hours and hours pouring over in the next 16 months, adding and removing random things over and over again ...

Update: In case you have trouble seeing the registries at weddingchannel.com, we are registered at Crate and Barrel and Macys for "normal" wedding gifts, at REI for "camping" gifts, and Amazon, for random stuff that we could not find on other sites.

Getting Engaged

In case you have not heard about how we got engaged, here is the whole scoop ....

So last November, while Aviva and I were in Cherry Hill for Thanksgiving, I grabbed her dad toward the end of the weekend, shoved him in a closet and asked him for permission to marry his daughter. He laughed, hugged me and said of course. Which is definitely a wonderful thing to hear from your future father-in-law. I had dragged him into the closet to try to keep my question on the down low, because it has been kind of assumed for a while that I will propose to Aviva and I wanted to keep some element of surprise.

Two days later Aviva walked up to me and said, "Its so sweet that you asked my Dad for permission to marry me." So much for surprise :) Not that it was going to be all that much of a surprise, while we were in California we went to Gleim Jewelers (the owner, Georgie, is a close family friend ... plus they are incredible craftsmen) and got her a ring, designed to her specifications (hey, when you are marrying someone who can make their own jewelery, you let them make the ring).

However, from that point on, the when of the asking, that was going to be my surprise. I found out the ring was finished about a week ago, and arranged to have it sent to my lab on Wednesday. Waiting for the ring to show up in the mail was agonizing, but nowhere near as stressful as having the ring and waiting to ask. Longest two days of my life, for some reason I cannot even fully articulate ... I mean, I was pretty sure she would say yes and be happy no matter how I did it, but I still slept for maybe 3 or 4 hours on both Wednesday and Thursday night, mostly laying in bed going over plans for the proposal. I made a reservation at Aureole, a really nice restaurant on the Upper East Side, for Friday at 6 and I spoke to my boss on Thursday about the plan. She was wonderful about it, encouraging me to leave early on Friday to set up the proposal.

Aviva had a conference in the city all day, so was going to be dressed up in Manhattan, so I suggested to her that I get dressed up and meet her for dinner. I also told her that I would be leaving work early on Friday to spend some time in Central Park taking pictures. I left work just before 2 pm, freshened up, changed into a suit and took the 5 down to 59th street. I was lucky, it was a beautiful day outside and rather warm, for February, at around 45 degrees. I got to the park at 4 pm, and walked around the area near the pond to find the right spot to propose.

I chose a spot just off the path, across the footbridge over the north end of the pond. It was just south of the ice rink, far enough away that I would not be proposing with to the background music of Eagle Eye Cherry, and I waiting. Aviva called around 445, and I told her how to come and meet me in the park so that I could take some pictures of us. When she got there I had her stand over by the water and pretended to set the camera for a timed picture. Then I moved behind her, and while her back was turned I knelt down and asked her to be my wife.

She didn't cry, or shriek, just giggled and smiled. And said yes.

We were both thrilled. Excited. Ecstatic. Walking around with huge, megawatt smiles. Honestly, I cannot believe I get to spend the rest of my life with this amazing woman. And incredibly, she seems to feel the same way. We are so happy.

After we got ourselves together, I packed up my camera and we agreed not to call anyone until after we ate and spent some time together. The rest of the evening passed happily. We walked over to Aureole, and had a wonderful meal, probably the best scallops I ever had. The monk fish was also spectacular, and the deserts were really excellent. Truly a wonderful restaurant. After dinner we just sat, talking, for a while, then we headed over to Madison Avenue, caught the BxM10 and headed back to the Bronx. We used our time on the bus to begin calling everyone we know, with maybe the best news I have ever had :)